Fact is, we weren’t planning on getting married in the first place. After 20 years of unwedded bliss, we were perfectly happy the way we were. However, with Rob’s looming retirement, and the promise of lifelong fully paid health insurance, it seemed only fair that Rob should get Daryl in on the deal. That meant a wedding was in our future.
 

In keeping with our personal philosophy, “Never miss an opportunity to party,” of course we wanted to                                      celebrate with our friends and family.  We planned a small affair in the private dining                                    room at our favorite New York City restaurant, Craft, with forty people, a string                                              quartet, and our cousin, New York Supreme Court Justice Paul Goetz, officiating. All                                    we had to do was take a limo and show up. That didn’t happen.
Boy, were we in for a surprise! No sooner had our deposit money left our bank account, that coronavirus reared its spiky little head. The only thing we could count on, fortunately, was Judge Paul.
 

Those of you who know us know we’re party people; we can throw together a wine tasting at a moment’s notice, just knock on our door.  But this was different. The challenge was to have a beautiful wedding while keeping everyone safe. That meant shrinking the guest list to ten people–which, believe it or not, is actually easier than limiting invitees to forty people–hoisting a tent in the backyard, ensuring a 6′ distance between tables, insisting on face masks, and accounting for New York’s notoriously capricious weather. No servers, no bartender, no cleanup crew, because that would increase the census. And just to make things interesting, our dishwasher disintegrated, and sorry, we don’t do paper champagne glasses!
 

With two months to go, we went to our favorite party supply store, Amazon.com, and secured hand sanitizer, name card holders, Rob’s personal Bose sound system, fans to keep the virus circulating, table covers, warming trays, personal eating and serving utensils–no sharing. Wedding face masks with our picture! Champagne and Prosecco from wine.com. Champagne flutes from bedbathandbeyond.com (12 for $9.00) We pre-ordered the tent, chairs, tables and linens from First Class Party & Event Rentals, artisanal pizza from our favorite local restaurant, Vulcano 081, cookies from @DontTouch_MyCookie, and a wedding cake from StacysCakesNY.com. And, by the way, did you know you can get beautiful flowers from King Kullen?
 

The bridal wardrobe came from Bloomingdales.com, fancy feather fascinator from Etsy.com.

Spanx from BareNecessities.com, sparkly shoes from Nashville by Amazon. Make-up artistry

courtesy of CVS. It is absolutely amazing what you can buy while your lazy ass sits in your

LaZBoy recliner drinking Dark & Stormys.
 

We did half a dozen Zoom trials–only half of which were successful–to be sure that all of our friends and family could join us remotely, maybe even more than could have joined us at our original planned venue.
                         As the date approached, Daryl’s son, Ethan, and his girlfriend, Natasha, arranged to come                           in for the wedding from California…C a l i f o r n i a. That’s one of the states on Governor                             Andrew Cuomo’s “We Hate You, Don’t Come Here” List. That meant mask wearing at                                   home pending the nasal swab results…negative, whew.
 

Rob set up a playlist for the band to play. Oh, wait, there was no band. But Spotify has every song ever written at your beck and call, perfect for the party on a budget, $9.95/month.

As the big day approached, so did Tropical Storm Fay. We imagined the tent soaring up in the air like the Wizard of Oz. And because of the monsoon-like conditions (whichwere forecast

to continue the entire wedding day), we could not set up the tables and chairs

in advance. As it turned out, that was OK, because they brought the wrong size

tablecloths. Did you know you can get curbside pickup of tablecloths at Bed, Bath

& Beyond? And there’s nothing a bride would rather do the night before her

wedding than to iron tablecloths, while wondering, “When do the locusts come?”
 

The morning of the wedding, we retained “Flowers By Daryl” to create centerpieces, wedding bouquet, and boutonnieres, no YouTube tutorial required. That was actually fun.
 

Two hours before the wedding, the wheels were in motion, there was no turning back.  Everything worked like clockwork. Daryl’s sister, Leslie, and Ethan accepted the food deliveries.  The rain stopped, the storm waters receded, the sun peeked through, and the remaining cloud cover helped keep the temperature down. The guests arrived on time. Judge Paul did a stellar job. Our ring-bearer, Rob’s daughter, Mikaela, didn’t mix up the rings. Ethan made a beautiful toast. The Zoom conference went fine. The food was great and the cake was amazing.  Everything went off without a hitch, except for us.

 

Now we’re hitched.  Enjoy the pictures.